A, B

I opened the door to see a beautiful blue eyed boy looking at me. He was wrapped in a blanket sewn by someone who will never know him. Wearing a pair of underwear 2 sizes to small, and a pair of pajamas 4 sizes to big. I love him instantly. He is mine. His bare feet are covered by the blanket he holds tightly to as he lays his head against the case worker he met only hours before. He is scared. So scared.

We invite her in and say hello. Tour of the house. Tell him he is going to be staying with us for a little while. He doesn't move. She sets him on his bed, tells us the little she knows, and walks away with my husband. I am alone with him for the first time. His smallness strikes me. This child sitting on the bed, holding his blanket, not looking at me, not moving. I try to talk to him and he begins to cry. "my brother" it is the only thing he says to me. I ask what brothers name is, but can't understand his reply. I pulled him into my arms, and he wrapped his little arms around my neck, laid his head against me, and cried. By this time Todd is standing in the door way. I promise this child we will find out where his brother is in the morning.

The next morning after a day of phone calls his sweet brother, B arrived. I can't express how incredible this sweet little soul is. I walked into the CPS office, was led around a corner by the case worker, and there he was, two brothers united. What I remember most is the first time we looked at each other, and him sitting there almost bouncing through the rest of the meeting as the this case worker, their case worker, told me more about the case. The first case worker only works in the office for after hours placements. A long ride home. School enrolling. doctors appointments. dentist, paper work, documenting, meetings. So busy.

A whirlwind of joy and tears.

A phone call. and we know they are leaving soon

another call and it's set for tomorrow

another call. and tomorrow fell through.

2 weeks go by and then it's set for monday. no sunday. no, this evening. no. 20 minuets from now.

and they are gone.

Last Step

We received an e-mail from the State on Wednesday letting us know that we needed to provide a few pieces of additional information, this was done almost immediately and on Thursday we got the e-mail letting us know that our application was processed and complete. The last step is a signature from the Judge. We are told this part of the process takes less then a week.

Timeline:

April 14th, 2014  -Started PS-MAPP classes
June 6th, 2014 - State home inspection (OLCR)
August 28th, 2014 - Application submitted
September 3rd, 2014 - Request for additional information
September 4th, 2014 - Confirmation of complete application

The Time That's Left

"The Time That's Left"

-Mark Schultz 

What will you do with the time that's left
Will you live it all with no regret?
Will they say that you loved till your final breath?
What will you do with the time that's left?

What will you do with the time that's past?
Oh and all the pain that seems to last?
Can you give it to Jesus and not look back?
What will you do with the time that's past?

What will He say when your time has come?
When He takes you into His arms of love?
With tears in His eyes will He say well done?
What will He say when your time has come?

What will you do with the time that's left?
Will you live it all with no regret
Will they say that you loved till your final breath?
What will you do with the time?

Waiting

Our application was submitted on Monday. Our licensing worker let us know that the State is averaging about three weeks right now, so we should get the call sometime mid September. It's a strange feeling to have it be so close after so long. I've started to have a hard time sleeping, I've heard that expecting Mothers sometimes "nest" in the last trimester. I think I am in that state now. At this point we have done almost all we can do and are just trying to stay busy until the time arrives.

"That I really lived"

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” 
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Truth

“Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst.” 

― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“There are some years in our lives that we would not want to 

live again. But even these years will pass away, and the lessons 

learned will be a future blessing.” 

― Marjorie Pay Hinckley